Make Your HomePage Add To Your Favorites
Quote, Unquote
Did You Know?

Caddyshack Sound Clips
Sounds are in the order that they appear in the movie.

Actor key: c=Carl Spackler; t=Ty Webb; a=Al Czervic; j=Judge Smails; d=Danny Noonan; l=Lacy Underall; to=Tony D'Annunzio; m=Maggie O'Hooligan; s=Spaulding Smails; o=Other

Jump to: Beginning | Thousand Bucks You Miss That Putt | Yacht Club | The Big Match | 19th Anninversary Edition | Deleted Scenes | Broadcast Preview
File: Size: Actors: Description:
File Thumbnail 96k t "Opening music (I'm alright)"
File Thumbnail 9k o "Danny, turn off that radio!"
File Thumbnail 37kd "...he's gonna get that training bra right back to ya..."
File Thumbnail 30k d "...there were only two girls that went there and they were both nuns."
File Thumbnail 22k o "...well he isn't gonna be a caddy all his life is he?"
File Thumbnail 19k t,d,t "...sure thing, shoot Timmy. Danny. Danny."
File Thumbnail 29k d,t "When you were my age, did you ever have trouble deciding what you wanted to do with your life?"
File Thumbnail 11k t,d "Do you take drugs Danny?"
File Thumbnail 19k t "Is this Russia?..."
File Thumbnail 24k t,d,t "What's wrong with lumber, I own two lumberyards..."
File Thumbnail 13k t "I like you Betty..."
File Thumbnail 122k t "There's a force in the universe that makes things happen...and be the ball.."
File Thumbnail 102k t " the ball Danny, be the ball, you're not being the ball Danny..."
File Thumbnail 89k j,o "McFiddish! Do you know what I just saw! A gopher!...I'll put my best man on it!"
File Thumbnail 86k c "Mrs. Crane, I'm looking at you, you wore green so you could hide. I dont blame you, you're a tramp! Ooh! That was a good're a little monkey woman, do you that"
File Thumbnail 83k o,c,o,c "I want you to kill every gopher on the's not my fault nobody can understand what you're saying."
File Thumbnail 10k o "Caddyshack"
File Thumbnail 145k c "So I jump ship in Hong Kong, and I get on as a looper in the Himalayas...Gunga-Galunga..."
File Thumbnail 78k c "...So we finish the eighteen, and he's gonna stiff me...when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total conscienceness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
File Thumbnail 30k o "That's a peach hon, oh golly I'm hot today."
File Thumbnail 7k o "What'd they do, die on you Tony?"
File Thumbnail 69k to,d "Well I aint payin' no fifty cents for no Coke. Then you aint gettin' no Coke..."
File Thumbnail 5k o "Whip his ass Tony."
File Thumbnail 30k o "What's that sign say?"
File Thumbnail 50k o "There have been a lot of complaints already..."
File Thumbnail 74k o "One announcement, Carl Lipbaum died this week in summer school from a severe anxiety attack..."
File Thumbnail 41k o "Well, just snake a tube down her nose and I'll be there in four or five hours."
File Thumbnail 16k j "Don't you have homes?"
File Thumbnail 43k j "Oh Porterhouse! Look at the wax build-up on these shoes!"
File Thumbnail 13k s,j "What about my asthma? I'll give you asthma."
File Thumbnail 62k j,t,j,t "Ty, what'd you shoot today?...Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch."
File Thumbnail 72k j,o "Oh, say Fred, did you hear the latest one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the colored boy who went to heaven? Yeah Judge that's a doozy Judge. Colored boy? Why you son of a bitch..."
File Thumbnail 13k "The 'we're in the money' jingle from Al's car."
File Thumbnail 13k a "I think this place is restricted Wang, so don't tell 'em your Jewish, okay? Fine."
File Thumbnail 29k a "Ah, this is the worst lookin' hat I ever saw! I bet you buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup, huh?...Oh it looks good on you, though."
File Thumbnail 12k to "Oh, Madonna with meatballs."
File Thumbnail 31k s,j,s "Turds! Spaulding, how many times have I spoken to you ablout your language? Sorry Grandpa I forgot."
File Thumbnail 9k s,j "Double turds! Spaulding!"
File Thumbnail 7k a "Hey whitey, where's your hat?"
File Thumbnail 45k a,j,a "I bet you slice into the woods a hundred bucks. Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice. Damn! Okay you can owe me. I owe you nothing!"
File Thumbnail 83k j,d,j "Don't count that, it was interfered with...winter rules. (Listen to Spaulding in the background)"
File Thumbnail 26k a "Fore! I shoulda yelled two!"
File Thumbnail 31k a "So what? So let's dance!"
File Thumbnail 7k l "Nice try."
File Thumbnail 164k c "Great big globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts. How bout a nice cool drink varmint?.."
File Thumbnail 35k a "Albert Einstein gave me this. Nice man, nice man made a fortune in physics..."
File Thumbnail 30k d,o "I've often thought of entering the priesthood. Are you Roman-Catholic? Ah, then, I'm afraid you can't come."
File Thumbnail 7k l "Go for it."
File Thumbnail 10k o "You know I've often thought of becoming a golf club."
File Thumbnail 26k a "I'll tell ya, country clubs and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate..."
File Thumbnail 29k s,j "I want a hamburger, no a cheeseburger. I want a hotdog. I want a milkshake. I want potato sala--You'll get nothing and like it!"
File Thumbnail 13k a "Hey Smails! A thousand bucks you miss that putt."
File Thumbnail 50k j "(misses putt) You, you, you...(breaks canopy)...geez."
File Thumbnail 20k d "I noticed your grips were worn sir, I can put some stick-em on there, it's my fault really."
File Thumbnail 130k c "License to kill gophers, by the government of the United Nations...and that's all she wrote."
File Thumbnail 10k s,j "Are you gonna eat your fat? Spaulding!"
File Thumbnail 43k a "Tell the cook this is low-grade dog food..this steak still has marks were the jockey was hittin' it."
File Thumbnail 15k a "Ooh, somebody step on a duck?"
File Thumbnail 15k o "Dogfood? I'll show him dogfood!"
File Thumbnail 21k a "Oh, this your musta been something before electricity."
File Thumbnail 20k a "This your I know why tigers eat their young."
File Thumbnail 8k a "The dance of the living dead."
File Thumbnail 44k c "Pay no attention to that bush, moving around over there by that tree, it's just a bush, nothing to be alarmed about, nothing to look twice at...this looks like it could be gravy."
File Thumbnail 28k c "I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."
File Thumbnail 42k a,to,a "Hey Sabu, can you make a bullshot? Can you make a shoe smell?...the last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it."
File Thumbnail 27k l "I enjoy skinny-skiing, going to bull fights on acid."
File Thumbnail 10k c "Freeze gopher!"
File Thumbnail 10k s "Spaulding pukes in Dr. Beeper's car"
File Thumbnail 42k a "You wanna make fourteen dollars the hard way?"
File Thumbnail 17k "Dr. Beeper sits in Spaulding's puke"
File Thumbnail 15k c "Wait up girls, I've got a salami I gotta hide still."
File Thumbnail 41k c "I'll slack you off you fuzzy little foreigner"
File Thumbnail 43k c "Oh, man in the boat overboard. You beast, you savage. C'mon bark like a dog for me. Bark like a dog, I will teach you the meaning of the word respect."
File Thumbnail 76k t "...night putting, with the fifteen year old daughter of the dean."
File Thumbnail 43k t "You know who that guy was Danny?...Mitch Cumstein, great guy."
File Thumbnail 31k t "The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote that a flute with no holes is not a flute, and a doughnut with no holes is a Danish."
File Thumbnail 53k t,d " missed just that one!"
File Thumbnail 7k d,t "Unbelievable. Thank you very little."
File Thumbnail 10k d,to "Nice form, nice form. Good luck sucka."
File Thumbnail 16k to,d "Aaaaah shit. No, no, nice shot, right on the beach."
File Thumbnail 76k to "You aint got it today Noonan. Missit, missit, Nonnan, Noonan, Aaaaah!"
File Thumbnail 13k j "Excellent round soldier, top notch, top notch!"
File Thumbnail 72k j "I'm having a little party at the yahct club this Sunday, I'm christianing..."
File Thumbnail 11k m "Why don't you come in and help me sort my holy cards first."
File Thumbnail 13k d "Oh, Maggie's pants."
File Thumbnail 12k o "You put your suit on! You shave your ass!"
File Thumbnail 34k to,m "hey Maggie, how was it?..."
File Thumbnail 8k to "Ah, she's incredible."
File Thumbnail 20k o "Want some? Oh give me some! Who asked you? (Baby Ruth enters pool)"
File Thumbnail 86k o "Doodie! Doodie! Aw! Don't touch it!...Spaulding no!...Doodie!"
File Thumbnail 14k j "I want the entire pool scrubbed, sterilized, and disinfected!"
File Thumbnail 35k c "Here it is! (Carl holds up 'doodie'. It's no big deal! (takes a bite)"
File Thumbnail 47k l,t "You were in the war? No, homo. Much better now though."
File Thumbnail 12k l,t "My uncle says you've got a screw loose. Well, your uncle molests collies."
File Thumbnail 39k t "I was born to rub you, I was born to lick your face, I was born to rub you, but you were born to rub me first."
File Thumbnail 14k t "You have very. very small breasts, just kidding, c'mon."
File Thumbnail 9k l,t "You're crazy! That's what they said about Son of Sam."
File Thumbnail 29k o,s "What kind of shit is this! It's the best man, I got it from a negro. You're probably so high already you don't even know it."
File Thumbnail 26k o "It's time to christian...come along children, you can shake your booties down on the dock."
File Thumbnail 21k s,d "Ahoy Paloi, where did you just come from, a scotch ad? Beat it Spaulding."
File Thumbnail 28k l,o "hey Cary Grant, you wanna get high? wait a minute, I've only got a little..."
File Thumbnail 5k j "Spaulding get your foot off the boat!"
File Thumbnail 45k j "It's easy to grin, when your ship comes in, and you've got the stock market beat; but the man worth while, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat.'"
File Thumbnail 30k o "Bless this ship and all who sail on her, I christian thee the Flying Wasp."
File Thumbnail 26k l,d,l "and this, this is your saliva line. What's it tell? How hot I can get you."
File Thumbnail 30k j "Don't just stand there, go get some glue! Hey, my buddy! Swanson, over there! I wanna go over there! Move over Swanson, I'm driving."
File Thumbnail 11k a "Hey Smails! My dingy's bigger than your whole boat!"
File Thumbnail 8k a "I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!"
File Thumbnail 6k a "What's this, Hell's Angels?"
File Thumbnail 7k "The horn on Al's boat"
File Thumbnail 39k a,j,a "Okay. drop anchor!...Hey, you scratched my anchor!"
File Thumbnail 31k d "I just want you to know, that because of this, you don't have to stop seeing other people."
File Thumbnail 19k j "(caught in the act) Ah ha!"
File Thumbnail 7k o "Are we still having tea?"
File Thumbnail 17k o "Evenhue, will you come and loufa my stretch mark?"
File Thumbnail 22k o "That must be the tea."
File Thumbnail 222k c "The entire Cinderella Story...a classic."
File Thumbnail 43k c "I can't believe how your hitting the ball, sir, you're really clubbin' it."
File Thumbnail 46k o "You know, I could break the club record, theoretically."
File Thumbnail 48k o,c "Well, what do you think, young fella? I'd keep playing. I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna come down for quite a while."
File Thumbnail 13k o "I'm infoulable young fella."
File Thumbnail 7k o "C'mon, one more hole!"
File Thumbnail 25k o "Oh rat farts!"
File Thumbnail 10k m "Oh yeah, well thanks for nothin'!"
File Thumbnail 52k j "My niece has a certain zest living..."
File Thumbnail 22k j "I sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it, felt I owed it to them."
File Thumbnail 21k j "How bout a Fresca? Huh?"
File Thumbnail 69k o "You never ask a Navy man how many drinks he's had...there is no God."
File Thumbnail 29k o,t "...I thought you'd be the man to beat this year. I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself."
File Thumbnail 20k j "You, have worn out your welcome at Bushwood, sir."
File Thumbnail 13k a,j,a "Well this whole place sucks. sususus--That's right, it sucks."
File Thumbnail 8k a "He called me a baboon, thinks I'm his wife."
File Thumbnail 15k m,d "You're not a creep Noonan. Yes I am. No your not. Yes I am. Well maybe you are a little bit."
File Thumbnail 37k a,j,a "I'll shoot you eighteen holes for ten thousand bucks...okay, how bout teams then for ywenty thousand?"
File Thumbnail 39k t,j "Let's make it forty dad never liked you. I'll see you two tomorrow on the golf course!"
File Thumbnail 198k c "I have to laugh, because my foe is an animal...I'm gonna use you two guys to do my dirty work for me."
File Thumbnail 60k t "There she is, it's a Titleist...(swings and breaks the window)"
File Thumbnail 12k c "All right, show yourself you little varmint, if you've got the guts."
File Thumbnail 18k t,c,t "Is this your place Carl? Yeah, what do ya think? It's really awful."
File Thumbnail 37k c,t,c "I'm assistent greenskeeper, they say that doesn't mean anything..."
File Thumbnail 11k c,t "Here, fire it up. With my lips?"
File Thumbnail 21k c,t "People say, you know, that I'm an idiot or something, because all I do is cut lawns for a living. People don't say that about you, as far as you know."
File Thumbnail 10k c "I'm gonna be the head greenskeeper, hopefully within the next six years, that's my schedule."
File Thumbnail 18k "You know, cinch bugs, you know, manganese. A lot of people don'r even know what that means."
File Thumbnail 80k c "I invented my own kind of grass..and just get stoned to the bejesus belt that night on this stuff."
File Thumbnail 9k c "Look at this, I've a got a big Bob Marley joint."
File Thumbnail 5k c "It's a little harsh."
File Thumbnail 8k c "Cannonball, cannonball coming."
File Thumbnail 31k c,t,c "Can I say something to you Frank? Ty. You've been acting psychotically, lately. What the hell, why?"
File Thumbnail 67k t,c "You're over there on Briar...Thanks for the dope."
File Thumbnail 15k a "What the...? Who the...?"
File Thumbnail 20k j,t "Get that steering wheel back over here where it belongs and back this thing outta here!"
File Thumbnail 46k o "Hey! We all know this is illegal and against club practice..."
File Thumbnail 7k t "Don't smile at me Lyle, Okay?"
File Thumbnail 36k o "The Judge and Mr. Czervic, one hundred thousand dollar match. You're kidding me..."
File Thumbnail 112k c "Hi, anybody home? Yeah, it's me, Mr. Squirrel, not a plastic explosive or anything. Nothing to be worried about. I'm just here to make your last hours on Earth as peaceful as possible. Well in the words of Jean Paul Sarte, 'au revoir gopher'. This is gonna be sweet."
File Thumbnail 14k a "Hey! That kangaroo stole my ball!"
File Thumbnail 6k c "What's up doc?"
File Thumbnail 15k "Al takes a hefty divot"
File Thumbnail 34k a,t "I don't understand it, I'm playing the worst game of my life...You're not good, you stink."
File Thumbnail 45k o "Fifty bucks the Smails kid picks his nose..."
File Thumbnail 55k o "Fifty bucks more says he eats it...Man that kid'll eat anything."
File Thumbnail 15k a,j "You wanna double it? Fine! Forty thousand apiece!"
File Thumbnail 66k "Chuck finds 'the friendly squirrel'"
File Thumbnail 8k a "I tell ya, I shoulda stayed home and played with myself."
File Thumbnail 116k a,o,t "Ooh, my arm! I think it's broken...well, Sonja Henie's out. We'll take Danny Noonan."
File Thumbnail 12k d,j,d "I'll play. I guess you don't want that scholarship, do ya? I guess I don't."
File Thumbnail 15k a,t "Don't worry, It's good luck. In Hades."
File Thumbnail 23k t,d "We have to win this winning isn't you do. Nice grammar."
File Thumbnail 39k t,d "See your future, be your future. May, make--make it. Make your future Danny..."
File Thumbnail 26k c "Hey Mr. gopher."
File Thumbnail 14k o "Gentlemen, this match is all even, final hole, doctor, you are away."
File Thumbnail 11k j "Spaulding, this calls for the ole Billy Barule."
File Thumbnail 35k "Oh Billy, Billy, Billy...don't let me down Billy."
File Thumbnail 31k c "Silver Wings, upon their chest..."
File Thumbnail 12k t "Don't worry about this one, you miss it, we lose."
File Thumbnail 12k a "Hey Judge, double or nothing he makes it, eighty grand."
File Thumbnail 10k j "Well, we're waiting."
File Thumbnail 57k o,c "You lose it buddy! Fore!"
File Thumbnail 133k o "The sound of a golf course being destroyed...Birdie!"
File Thumbnail 39k a,j "All right Smails that's eighty grand, now fork it over. I'll give you nothing, absolutely, you understand?..."
File Thumbnail 7k a "Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!"
File Thumbnail 172k "Chuck coughs...(theme song)"
Scenes from the 19th anniversary edition:
File Thumbnail 5k o "That was a bum shot."
File Thumbnail 7k t "We couldn't possibly think less of each other."
File Thumbnail 17k t "What you are about to see has a mechanical gopher in it."
File Thumbnail 42k c "Out-take from the 'freeze gopher' scene"
File Thumbnail 55k c "Out-take from the 'gopher's allies' scene"
File Thumbnail 44k c "Out-take from the 'gopher guts' scene"
File Thumbnail 29k c "Out-take from the 'cinderella' scene"
File Thumbnail 606k c,t "Out-take from the 'thanks for the dope' scene"
File Thumbnail 58k j,a "Out-take from the 'party scene'"
Sounds from the edited for TV version:
File Thumbnail 319k c,t,d "How's it goin, Frank? Morning Carl...Mind if I show you a little something?...Mr. Webb? Uh Sir?"
File Thumbnail 114k to,o "Hey Doc! There's a five mile-an-hour speed limit!..."
File Thumbnail 112k d,o "Danny please don't drive so fast!...Let's go!..."
Sounds from a 1987 network broadcast preview:
File Thumbnail 100k o "Tonight on the CBS Saturday Movie..."